Whether you’re having sex or not, you should talk about it in your relationship
Love & Relationship -
Refusing to talk about sex means you are leaving your sexual satisfaction to chance.
Now that you’re here, let’s talk about how communication about sex is needed in that your relationship, whether it is sex-filled or sexless.
Celibacy is a thing. And premarital sex is a thing as well. This is not an article promoting or downplaying the importance of one over the other. If you have chosen one over the other, you must have your reasons for doing so and that’s just fine.
Why you should talk about sex
For those who choose to wait till the night of their wedding and those who can’t wait till then to unbox the package, a refusal to discuss sex as openmindedly, fearlessly and with a view to improving will lead to the same thing – frustration, dissatisfaction, resentment and a whole lot of negative vibes thrumming through that relationship and whatever it morphs into.
Failure to talk about sex means you are leaving your sexual satisfaction to chance and guess work.
While it is true that sex with the same person will somehow get better with time even if you do not talk about it, intentionally communicating about it hastens that process of understanding and the betterment that happens as a result.
That sexual spark, the attraction that flares in the pit of your stomach when you look or get very close to your partner is actually great. It means you are sexually attracted to them. But if that’s all you rely on to keep your sex life going for the long haul, I’m sorry that won’t do.
Without communicating your needs, and the things that pleasure and delight you, without building a sizzling sexual chemistry through communication, that sexual attraction will soon fizzle out.
How to talk about sex
With your partner with whom you’re already having sex, or whom you hope to do it with, discussing sex and how you like it should be as openmindedly and fearlessly, even as explicitly as possible; with a view to orchestrating the orgasmic bliss you’re yet to find, and improving on the ecstatic experiences you’ve already had.
Aim to not be judgmental and to not be childish about it. Either of these will make your partner clamp up and could cause them to never express their deepest desires, or ever live them out.
And until your partner becomes comfortable enough to tell you every sexual thing they want to do with you, you may never achieve the maximum pleasure possible with them.
And what a terrible shame that would be.
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3 reasons this Valentine was made specially for you and your spouse.1. Valentine's Day can rekindle the romance in your marriage. Here is a day, literally thrown in your face, for you to be super romantic. You've got it in you, just think back to when you were dating. You are a romantic being, and you just need to freshen up your skills a bit. Here is your chance. When else do you actually go all-out in being romantic and thoughtful in planning a day, or a special evening for your spouse? Perhaps on your anniversary...maybe...but that's about it. So why not add Valentine's Day to your list of romantic days to celebrate, and just make it happen? One suggestion we love is to switch off planning either Valentine's Day or your anniversary with your spouse every year. Which means that if you plan a spectacular Valentine's Day, then your husband or wife will plan a wonderful anniversary. And next year you will switch. Give it a go and see if it works for you.2. Being intentional about celebrating Valentine's Day can nurture your marriage. Being intentional about your relationship can make it or break it. Couples who aren't intentional about their marriages often start to drift apart without even realizing it. So, decide to be intentional about Valentine's Day and take advantage of the opportunity it gives you to nurture your marriage. Now, being intentional doesn't mean that you have to celebrate Valentine's Day the way jewelry companies suggest. You can create your own traditions. Maybe your tradition is to always go skiing together on Valentine's Day, or to eat Valentines Day candy while you watch your favorite chick flick. Or perhaps you are more ambitious, and you decide to always (from here on out) schedule a getaway together over Valentine's Day weekend.Whatever you do, just choose to make this day a big deal. And, you don't have to spend a lot of money to make Valentine's Day special. Being intentional about a day of love (even if you don't like the idea of it) will help you learn to be intentional about your marriage every other day of the year, too.3. Valentine's Day gives you a chance to express love in a special way. Literally, you are being given a chance to express love on THE love day of the year. To simply choose not to express love on this day would be ridiculous. Just like Thanksgiving and Christmas, Valentine's Day is set apart for a certain purpose. It's a day to express, show, and tell your spouse (or significant other) how much you love him/her.What I'm getting at here is this; Valentine's Day should be a big deal for you and your spouse! Don't let Valentine's Day pass you by this year. Choose to plan ahead, to be intentional, and to celebrate your marriage in a meaningful way. Then, watch the spark's fly!
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